look out for the anarchists

I found out yesterday that people go into post offices and steal passport application forms. That’s what I was told when I asked why I had to queue for 20 mins just to get a form that should have been available in the shop without having to go to the counter. Please be vigilant whenever you are taxing your car, collecting your pension etc. If you notice suspicious characters grabbing handfuls of passport applications then you must do the good citizen thing and apprehend them. If we don’t nip this kind of behaviour in the bud we’ll be accessories to anarchy. (Also, deal firmly with people who spit in public.)

I had a look at my website stats today - a pointless exercise since they are complete gibberish to me. As a responsible user of the information superhighway, however, I feel that if my web host puts in the effort to collect this data then I should do them the courtesy of glancing at it once a year.

Now, I’m really freaked out. Hidden away in the January analysis of countries that have been looking at ‘darkhorse’ (featuring at position 21, between Cyprus and Spain) is US Military. (Action for me : email my web hosts and explain the difference between a country and a superpower militia.) I know, let’s check December. That’s strange - the Military have dropped out but the US Government have appeared at #26. Why are they spying on me? Might I find myself on a one way flight to Guantanamo Bay any day now? Perhaps if I explain that I don't have a current passport.................................!